is this strangely complicated mixed feelings a blessing?

tongle salted fish fried rice rawwwks
to the 10th planet and back!
the fish is so omg niceeee!
the rice is so omg normaaaal. .-
the packaging is so stylo
until cannot milo!
and my mum thought it was moooncake!
lol. the mooncake is so early bird--leee.
hehhhs. =]

lazy gourmet rawwwks tooo!
the chocolate banana cake is omg niceeeeeee!
the banana is lyke super fresh.
and the chocolate just melts in your mouth.
and it has a neat gold baseee!
it loooks so grand and high-class hot stuffs.
wahahaha!
okieeee. i bettter stop.
before someone comes and claim meee
to walk hand in hand with her.
the ohhh so pro dunker sher.
*winkks+ o=)

zq is soooooo omg lame!
she and the turtle can totally become best friends already.
ahahaaa.
l-a-m-e! +)

i think ri boys are so funnnny!
esp jk sy and zh.
totally comical whaaat.
neat killer litter.
hehhhs. =]

yhhh!
im super mega sorry!
i didnt know you were mad at meee
for the past few daaaaays.
i have yet to clear all the mega huge stuffs
piling up in my world.
ive beeen in a state of depression.
not knowing which pile to start from.
but at least now i managed to
disseminate most of them.
bury at diff spots and be locked away forever.
yeaaah. ill keep trying. *hurry hurry.+
yuppps. so smile and laugh more yaaarhs! =]

ive got nothing more to say.
youve proved yourself to be an irritant.

hahaas. yayyyys
new layout.
totally took a long time
to get it all done and up.
yeaaahs.
i know my board rawwks!
with my fav colour!
yellowww.
hehhhs.
have to admit its a nice shade of yellow.
but tooo bad.
not gonna change the colour
to suit this layout.
bwaaah. yayyys! =]
and the ikea flower-lyke vase is omg chioo!
its frosted yellow-greeeen chioo!
its so omg chioo!
if only its a floorside lamp.
i'll be sure to snap it up.
hahaaas.
i can hardly contain my enthusiasm.
but its really so omg chioo!
okiee. enough of colours.

yayyys!
cant wait for june to lemme her dvd.
troy. hehhhs.
duh! fake one. =]

ohh nooo.
two weeks of intensive chinese is coming to an end.
and what was i doing during these days?
totally laming arnd with my dear laming buddy.
and i dunnoe all the +zaoju+
in all the mock tests.
i think tchers are totally best.
they are highly efficient
to the extent of xchanging papers with other schoools.
totally doing all the 04 papers.
slogging and sloggin away.
and i honestly havent really started on cheena tys.
other than the open ended compre.
hehhhs.
best of the best!

^hurry hurry.+
i have to wake up soon.
i need to get a distinction.
to prove to kwan that shes wrong.
that i put in effort studying chinese.
am serious and focused.
haaas. and also smart in chinese.
she havent get over the fact
that ive gotten a c6 for chinese.
and it was lyke 50.757575...
hehhhs.
my mids kinda saaark laarhs.
totally no a1 at all.
everybodys getting lyke 10pnts 11pnts.
and 23 is a far cry away.
but hehhhs. o=)
not badding already.
cosidering the fact that i improveee! =]

a picture paints a thousand words. enough said.

ohhhhhhhhhh no.
what is wrong with meee?
i neeeda wake my dreams.
let the rain fall.
and wash awaaay.
back to the beginning i need ta go.
21960160.
sighhhhhhhs.

im at a lost for words.
cant find an adjective to describe my feelings now.
im really sorrrieeee.
......sighhhhhhhs. =|
but somehow no matter how much i try.
to put across this apology to you.
i. i. i.
i just cant sayy it.
seeing you so carefree and happy.
i didnt wanna ruin your day.
but i know your not as happy as you are right now.
your just trying to put on a mask.
showing a fake smile whenever we meeet.
even pretending to laugh at all the crabs.
i know it.
ive walked into your world before.
ive seen your real jovial daaays.
your madness and insanity.
trying to act lyke a hella good dancing cow.
including those dark and gloomy skies.
with black and heavy raindrops.
even shades of green painted on every walls.
complaining to me about stuffs.
your everything.
so whats the use of putting on a mask.
when you know i can see you beneath your skin.
its lyke being stabbed.
every moment you put on a mask.
with the guilts in mee overflowing.
i know i have to have more confidence in myself.
but. but i.
each time i walk up to you.
i kinda hesitate.
it'll be so *ganga+
i'll be looking at you
and you'll be looking at me.
both of us at a lost of words.
besides i dunnnoe what to say but sorry.
i really didnt mean it.
and. and. and yaaarhs thats all.
im really sorry from the depths of my soul.

hmmmmmmos.
sounds familiar ehhhs toilet buddy!
poooooooo.

gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
it turns what we have into enough.
and furthermore.
it turns denial into acceptance.
chaos to order.
confusion to clarity.
it can even turn a meal into a feast.
a house into a home.
a stranger into an acquaintance.
even to the extent best buds.
a wild breed into a homely pet.
hmmmmmmos.
gratitude just makes sense of our past.
it brings joy and peace for today.
and creates a vision of hope for tomorrow.

the supermarket is a real good place.
its super conducive to study!
the floor is super clean.
the tables are super dust-freee.
the food stuffs are also super fresh.
the people there are super friendly.
its super convenient.
just swing around with the trolley.
super swirve in all directions.
stretch yourself .
and pick up some fruits and chocs.
super munch and crunch on them.
anytime.
anywhere.
mmmmmmmmm.
its super coooling.
with the super humid weather.
there is a definite yesss to switch on the a.c. supply.
its super perfect.
but yet theres something super missinggg.
a super cool playyyground!
where you can go and de-streSS!
take a break. have a kitkat.
try to be smarties.
being a mentos. the freshmaker for once.
or even the ayam brand label.
just keep your super mind away from the continuous study--ing.
its just plain superrrrrr! =]
i think ive gone mad.
yes.
M-A-D.

[add-ons!]

isnt this pic soo cwwwwute!
its so omg cuteee!
x.^

the haircut.
with the high level of humidity.
its definitely much cooler now.
and somehow my headache went away.
whats left is the phlegm-trapping cough.
hmmmmmmos.

yayyyys.
cleared my rooom.
promised my mum eons ago i would do that after exam.
now it feels good stepping into my room.
dust-freee.
spacious.
most imptly, my comfy bed and mogu!
no more sleeping on the floor.
no more doing work on the small chair.
imagine doing homework on that chair for monthhs!
no more piling all my stufffs in every corner of the room.
yayyyys!
i luurve my rooom now.
but somehow i get the idea.
that my rooms not gonna keep that way for long.
hmmmmmmos.

these little stuffs are lyke cleansing.
washing away my sanity.
giving me life.
a new-found life.
=]

i got my first real six-string
bought it at the five-and-dime
played it till my fingers bled
i knew that it was now or never
those were the best days of my life

best day of my lifee. =]

"We are having some major hardware problems with our servers that are causing some boards to currently be down for a short while. We are working on this as fast as possible, but some things simply take time."

hoho. now the 'temp error' problem is surfaceddd.
went around blog-readddding.
wowwwws.
looks lyke im the only one with this error hehhhs.
too honourable.
*nodds+ =]

been tearing the past few days.
for 'i dunnoe what' reasons.
the tears just flowww everytime i think about it.
thinking about the flowery stufffs.
and the rantling and roaaaars.
and the treatment i receive just bcos i dint turn up that day.
i know that day meant alot to you.
but im reallly sorrrrrieeeee.
i dont meaaaant to ruin this day.
i had to rushh off for some family matters.
besides. i couldnt contact zq bh brudda and yaaa.
for 'i dunnoe what' reasons.
so i msged yaaa all.
and for 'i dunnoe what' reasons.
your all didnt replyy.
sighhhhhhs.
i dont understand why all misunderstandings befall mee.
this is fate.
sighhhhhhs.
god gave us all the ability to cryyy.
to shed tears and pour out your unhappiness.
what are tears for if you dont cryyy your heart out?
yupppp. okieeee. thats it.
i have to admit im running short of water.
its time to wake up my idea and stand strong.

robnwobic! hoho.
[sorryyy. cannot disclose name.]
im feeling so '...' for you!
honestly speaking.
if im in your shoes.
i will be soooo maaaad.
that i'll call up my ever so dearest 'friend'.
and tell her howwww sooooo nice she wass.
to keep quiet and dont stand up for meee at all.
even though that [she] was her good friend.
she shouldnt based on the fact that they were good frienddds and buddies since young.
and stand up for evil.
i mean. i willll tell her that she is no longer a small and innocent child.
who almost knows nothing about the outside world.
she isss a teenager.
she should have an opinion of her own.
be able to distinguish good and bad.
and know whats the right thing to do.
stand up for justice.
sighhhhhhs.
and i'll most probb be in tears for sleepless nitess.
wont get things sorted out as fast and efficient as you do.
will be damn sensitive and stuffs.
wont handle things as calm and relaxed as i should be.
y-dooom-ing all day.
thinking about life. and why i was born into this world.
with the word 'revenge' revolving around my world.
zoooming in and out to jolt mee to take revenge.
even if i eventually take my revenge and let [her] get their desserts.
that will not make mee a happier person.
i know its wronggg.
so wronggg.
but sometimes the anger just get the better of meee.
making things worst.
and letting them go outta control.
welll.
the worst thing that can happen is that i am not able to sort things out.
till its too lateee!
and the only way out. ---- suicidal.
but is it really worth it?
all i can say is suicidal is definitely not the only way out.

are pple you consider your friends your true friends?
can you really trust and rely on them?
will they stand up for you in times of danger?
will they lend a helping hand when your in neeed?
will they be there for you when you need them?
or will they act to be supportive when your looking good.
the next minute when your all or nothing they shun away from you.
not helping you at all.
leaving you in the lurch.
act lyke they dont even know you.
bitch about you when your backs turned.
probb to the extent of back-stabbing.
signs of betrayal.
sighhhhhhs.
right now.
im not able to judge whos my friend or foe.
i cant differentiate one whose heart is soo innocent and one with a wicked heart.
i cant even understand ones ulterior motive or purpose.
cant read their minds and find out their true intentions.
imm not one who possess psychic powerss mmkay.
unable to predict their every step and movement.
i just know that lifes never fairr.
full of ups and downs.
we will definitely make friends throughout this journeyy.
friends who are lyke trueeeeee life-long buddiess.
or friends who have potentials in acting and have the gift of the gab.
it is through the sufferings and pain.
that we will only understand that true friends are hard to come by.
so we must cherishhh all our friends beside us now.
for when their gonee.
you'll know that it is tooo late.
and you cant turn back time.
all im left with to say is.
never ever judge a book by its cover.
it can be deceiving.
but you never know until you take up the challenge and venture into their world.

[add-ons!]
hoho. yupppps. if i could.
if only i have the abilityyy.
i would definitely testify for youuuu!
i will shout it out loud to the universe.
that ive seeen yaaa.
buy stufffs that are lyke so ex and some so cheapo.
haha. yaaarhh. tooo much money at your disposal waaaaah.
but sighhhhhhs.
i reallyyy hope you'll be okaaaay.
but no matter what.
you'll still be my god damn hella goood buddddy!
thankss for everything.
luurve yaaa loadds. =]

bittergourd juice.
mmmmmm.
it can rid all the wormmms.
wahahahaha.
yuckkks! worms are gruesome creatures!
hoho. sorry to those worm-lovers. *points+
just an opinion! =]
but yayyys.
then the 'world' will be worm-freee. o=)
but the thought of bittergourd juice.
bittergourd. bittergourd!
bwah.
i'll just have to paralyze my sense of taste at that instance.
and be drowned willingly with that milky green liquiddd.
hmmmmos.
nono. white ppt in greeen liquid.
hmmmm. white. white. white?
or maybe its green in greeen ehhhs.
okieeee. unknown ppt [dunnoe. dont care. cannot be bothered to find out] in a conc green solution.
*winkks+ =]

hmmmmmos.
maybe that wont be necessary. o=)
my 'world' is just fine. doing well.
pink shades painted in every field of my world.
no environmental threats.
no signs of deterioration.
*nodds+
looking good!
=]